There has been so much going on that I don’t even know where to begin. I will just go from one person to the next.
OK: After winter break, when he returned to school, there was a catalyst of issues. He started back up in his bad behaviors and even started to get violent with his teachers and aides. I removed him from his classroom in March, and the school got him a 1-on-1 aide. She was set to start on the Monday before Easter but called out, and instead of the classroom calling me right away to go get him, they waited for him to destroy the classroom. Then, I made it clear that if his aide doesn’t come to school, he must leave immediately or let me know before he gets on the bus. Tuesday before the break, she was there, thank goodness, but OK was still violent at one point. Then they were out of school til the following Monday when his aide called out and again on Tuesday. I told the director of the program that we should just look for another classroom because I couldn’t beat my head against a wall anymore. Fire the aide who doesn’t want to work and move OK to a new classroom. After 2 weeks, he was back in school in a new classroom with 5 students, 3 aides, and a teacher who was way more patient with him. He’s been there for 3 weeks now; the difference is night and day. Next school year, he will continue in this unit, but they are moving it to Riverdale, and I like how much closer it will be.
RD: Not much has happened with RD; this year has been easy. But last night, I found out that a perceived friend was bullying him on a group chat. All I can do is give him my wisdom and send him on his way. It’s so hard hearing your child cry himself to sleep. I know that heartache. I’m tearing up as I’m typing this. It sucks so much when you think someone is your friend and to have that perception and trust ripped away like that… And he’s just 13. I know so many people will say that it’s the cost of technology, but it happened to me at 12, and there were no cell phones back then. This was also the first time I heard him cry himself to sleep. That part broke my heart more than anything.
CJ: My mom fell and shattered her hip on March 3rd. When I walked into her house and saw her lying on the floor, I thought she was dead. When I called out, she responded, and I called 911. She got mad at me and tried to get up but couldn’t. So she went to the hospital, had surgery, and went to a rehab facility/nursing home. I found all kinds of evidence to say that she could not go home alone, and for the time being, she needed to stay at the facility for as long as possible. Back in December, I signed paperwork for Medical and Financial POA for my mom, and with her dementia diagnosis, I have some control. I’ve been paying her bills for the last few months (with her money). We were gearing up to get Mom’s house ready to sell when a twist of fates happened. BA, my sister, told me that she was 3 months sober and could move in with Mom and take care of her. I picked her up in Toledo, brought her to her new home, and got things ready to bring Mom home. Trying to rebuild a relationship with my sister has been my shutdown. I have gone internal. I’m so hesitant to talk with her, but I want to know more about her and her last 3 years and tell her about mine, too. This is the same sister that I was in trauma/ambiguous grief counseling for. Every now and then, I still feel like I’m being gaslit; it’s really hard to describe this feeling. Moving on, Mom is home now. She is not being very nice to BA because she wants to drink and can’t. It’s now a dry house, and it’s one of my stipulations for this arrangement to continue. Please pray that BA can be strong for both of them.
Me: Right after my last blog, I met with the lawyer, and it turned out that my step-sister did not want financial POA and dumped everything on me. She didn’t even have enough balls to tell me that would happen. I found out in the lawyer's office and had to play it off like that is what we discussed all along, even though it wasn’t. In January, I volunteered to be the event coordinator for an event in May, a pretty big event, I might add. It has caused 2 breakdowns in these last few months, but as I do, I picked myself back up and moved forward. Fast forward to today, the event went as well as can be expected. My husband and I are doing… We are still together, working on our marriage and trying to communicate. With me trying to balance everything else, it feels like we are just living side by side and not together, if that makes any sense.
SM: My oldest step-daughter is still not talking to me but this time I blocked her from everything. I tried reaching out to her back in October 2023 when she became extremely disrespectful. I get it, she's mad at the world but I can only handle so much before I cut someone out of my life. I have boundaries and she crossed them.
LB: She is locked up in a mental health facility in Toledo, OH. I'm extremely unhappy with this. But as I have said before, we have no say in what her adopted parents do with her. They felt it was the best option, I think there was another. So for now, I suck it up and brown nose her "mom" to get information. I don't know if LB knows that I'm not permitted to contact her directly.
Thank you, everyone, for reading. I know it’s been a long blog, but I hope to get back to blogging at least once every other month.